"Argh I give up!" I snarled to my inner thoughts, "What the HELL do I do?!?"
It had been 48 hours and I was still thinking about depressing scenarios, my inner voice becoming more and more uncomplimentary, bitter and fearful. I'd just about got myself to the point where I was going to give it all up... no longer convinced that I knew what I was doing with my life anymore.
As a bystander, taking a snapshot of my life and you would be convinced that I have got it ALL GOING ON right now... it looks pretty damned cushy from the outside and, when I'm in a gratitude mindset, I have to admit that I've created a darned nice one.
BUT the last few days I have been battling and driving myself and probably everyone else mental battling with MY OWN GODDAM HEAD.
Intuitively I know I am seeking change in my life so 'duh duh duuuhhh...' I decided to spend the last 48 hours
All. Damned. Day.
From the moment I woke until the minute I slept my brain was in overdrive and, I have to tell you, it's led me down the most ridiculous pathways. It hasn't given me direction, it's not given me any solutions, it's just created more and more concerns, things to worry about and trails of pointless thoughts that are truly getting me absolutely NOWHERE.
Plus, it made me feel useless.
It sapped all the power I started the week with and made me feel like I was doing EVERYTHING WRONG.
Because when we allow ourselves to get too in our heads, we allow the negative voice, the monkey in our mind, to take over and SCARE THE CRAP out of us by trying to imagine what is going to happen, what could go wrong and how ineffective we could be in making anything of use happen.
In the last 2 days, my thoughts have spiralled from moving house to staying here forever, giving up my business to connecting with as many people as I can, redesigning my entire website to leaving it alone, to catching up with friends to becoming a hermit and staying away from everyone and everything...
So when it came to creating positive change (the whole point of starting this whole 'thinking' mission) my brain couldn't make a decision if it was paid to.
And I'm sick of it.
I HATE OVER-THINKING.
If you want to drive me mental, have a super motivating convo with me, come up with a load of great ideas and then finish the chat with, 'I'll think about it...'
Over-thinking will do nothing but allow that 'logical brain' to take over and stop you in your tracks - allowing procrastination to step in and mess up all your hopes and dreams, securely filing them into the 'not now / later' pile.
Over-Thinking creates fear - it allows you to spiral what may have been a good idea and turn it into something that scares the crap out of you.
Thinking should be reserved for times when you can do it CONSTRUCTIVELY like when you need to CONCENTRATE on something at work, or think about a problem that needs resolving with your special skills.
Thinking should NOT BE USED to make decisions about positive, proactive, aligned, juicy and exciting changes that you know you want to do with your family, life, business, career, job, lifestyle or home...
Too much Thinking does not make for a CREATIVE LIFE.
Thinking does not make for a PEACEFUL LIFE.
Thinking does not make you ALIGNED with your TRUE SELF.
Thinking does not find your PURPOSE.
and OVER Thinking makes you CONFUSED.
(So does asking everyone else what you should be doing instead of figuring it out yourself, but I'll save that for another day...)
When you need to create CHANGE in your life, you need to get back to
WHO YOU ARE
And remind yourself of
WHAT MAKES YOU EXCITED in life. What makes your heart beat faster. What life is REALLY ABOUT. What you're HERE ON THIS EARTH FOR.
And if you don't know the answers to these questions lovely, then you need some help.
Not to create them, but to UNEARTH THEM from whoever you have become, from the shell of a person that you have formed over the REAL YOU who is under the layers.
For the last 2 days I had forgotten WHO I AM and WHAT I WANT out of life. I allowed my irritating little mind to shift me out of my confidence and make me feel POWERLESS.
And that is what thinking does.
So, I have shifted my brain out of gear and allowed my SOUL to take over again.
I LOVE MY SOUL.
And I'd encourage you to love yours too... it's the part of you that makes you LOVELY. It's the part of you that LOVES life, LOVES other people, FEELS love, FEELS empathy, HEALS your hurts and does all the AMAZING things for you that makes you feel better.
And your soul loves you... the real you... and wants you to be happy just being that.
And when you're feeling CRAP? When your life feels grey and colourless and uncomfortable and meaningless?
You've lost touch with your SOUL.
You've lost the most valuable part of you.
I did it. For two days, I did it.
I became irritable, annoyed, frustrated, fearful, STUCK. And I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forgot to let my SOUL IN.
You feel like this too? I hope not... but if you do, from my soul to yours...
DROP THE PAIN
DROP YOUR EXPECTATIONS
DROP YOUR FEARS
And just be YOU.
Get out into the garden, or go for a coffee with a friend, or schedule a chat one evening with someone who makes you laugh.
Allow your soul to work its wonders in the background and slowly but surely LEAD YOU to the answers you seek.
Trust that your SOUL has got you. It will hel you. It will guide you. You just need to quieten your mind so you can actually hear it.
Take the power back from your MIND and push it into your HEART (that's where your soul lives :))
Get the heck out of your head and ignite your intuition, the wisdom inside of you which knows what you should be doing, knows that you can do it and trusts that you WILL make the right decision when the time comes.
Allow your own inner compass to GUIDE YOU to the answer - IT WILL COME.
If you need to sleep on it, sleep on it.
If you need to journal it, then write it out.
If you need to cry, let it out.
If you want to shout, have a yell.
JUST FEEL AGAIN.
And then get on with life, that thing that you've been ignoring going on around you while your brain did all that annoying over-thinking stuff.
If you need to be creative to get your juices flowing, do something fun and crafty.
If you need to rest, then do that.
If you need to understand yourself and your purpose better, let me help you.
If you still can't find your soul (it's in there, it just may be a bit buried right now) let me know and I'll help it come back the surface in less than an hour.
BUT whatever you do - don't over-think yourself into a quandry like I did this week.
Always here to show you there's more to life...
"Never Fear Dying. Fear Never LIVING" - Lucy Day
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